BXProject

[Fish_Botherer]

Was coming out of Southampton this evening on a long stretch of single-lane straight road, and eased past a bus in a double-lane section at the traffic lights. Instant annoyance, loud blast of horn, then up my arse all the way up to the next junction.

By now I'd realised he was not in service, and on his way back to the depot.

Any other times I shouldn't aggravate a bus driver, apart from the end of the working day?

[docchevron132]

Frankly he should fucking well know better.
Personally I'd report the fucker if you got the bus number or reg.
Some fucking city line pleb tried that with me once, I was on my way home from work.
I stopped, and got out of the car complete with FIRST hi viz jacket, gave him a fucking gob full, got back in the car and fucked off.
His manager gave him a stern talking to the following day.

[Father Ted]

Meh, the buz drivers round here are pretty OK though i once had a bit of a hissy fit at a corporation buz driver because they dont accept "credit" tickets in part or ful payment for fares, nooo you have to go all the way back to the buz station ( the second largest urinal in Europe) and cash it in between 9.30am annd 4pm there. So I was stranded miles from the fucking town centre with no money to get the buz back. In fairness it wasnt his fault and I did apologise for going off on one, I saved the real venting my spleen of bile untill i found the dork in charge...

Ony other time was overtaking a West Riding buz who was parked up... And just as I drew level with the cab the bastard bootd it and pulled out - brown trousers time as car was full of wife and kids. Made a point of following him and when he pulled up again I leapt out, twiste the openy door in an emergency thingy and gave him such a fucking gobfull... Hopefuly the sight of bald, shouty, 22stone bloke mm's from his face made him think in future.

[mickey taker]

my mates the local bus union rep , if any of my kids or myself have issues with local bus drivers I have a word in his shell like.

I dont have to be there to know Tom will give them a bollocking when he sees them and its quite funny to think the verbal is coming from the same person that represents them when there in trouble

[smiffy]

Meh, the buz drivers round here are pretty OK though i once had a bit of a hissy fit at a corporation buz driver because they dont accept "credit" tickets in part or ful payment for fares, nooo you have to go all the way back to the buz station ( the second largest urinal in Europe) and cash it in between 9.30am annd 4pm there..

Since late last year, you now have to do this at our bus company too. Even though the doctor and I both have staff passes, travelling by bus is for looooooosers!

[Father Ted]

Hmmm, Have you tried parking at Royal Preston Torture Chambers (hospissall) - There are just over 1000 parking spaces accross the site - onlything is there are about 2000 staff members and thats before you get patients and fat chav visitiors in slippers.
£5 for longer than 3 hours - oh yes and Im in there longer than 3 hours when I go to Orthopods outpatients, go in take ticket, get called, go to xray, wait, grow beard, get xrayed, wait for films to be checked, go back to OPD, wait, get called, see doctor, wait grow longer beard, see nurse, go to physio, take ticket, wait, get called, get pain inflicted, go to OT, get ticket, wait, get called, get measured for resting splint, wait some more, get called back in, get fitted with splint, discover that you are now no longer able to wipe your own arse with said splint in place, go out discover that during your time in RPH Cocroaches have taken over the world and that civilisation as you know it has ended, oh and you owe the parking machine £5....

Or, Get bus - pay £1.30 to get to RPH - do all of above without the hassle of the furtive searching for the only parking space not currently taken up by a fucking great Merc M class, leave get another bus back.

Oh and there were a few weeks when driving was totally out of the question as both arms were a bit floppy and steering by holding the steering wheel in my teeth is frowned upon by the local constabulary.

Apparently the bloke who designed Pisston buz station also designed the one in Tehrahn before anyone could stop him and put him to death.

[Father Ted]

Oh and I suppose other things you should not do to a bus driver include standing forward of this notice and talking to the driver whilst the bus is in motion....

[docchevron132]

Major LOLage on all that Marty!
Christ thats funny!

Since late last year, you now have to do this at our bus company too. Even though the doctor and I both have staff passes, travelling by bus is for looooooosers!

Since when have I had a staff pass?
I aint had a pass ever, at no time in the 10 years I've been employed by WorstBus.

I take your really funnt point about parking at the hospital Marty, but I'm still one of those types that will get there 3 hours early, just so I can drive round and round and round looking for a space!

[Father Ted]

Mate of mine is an anesatist, anethatitst, anea... fuck it , gas man at RPH - manys the day I get texts from him saying he cant find anywhere to park his people carrier (and thus theatre is delayed as there is no gas man to knock out the dear ladies - he workes in Gynae). For ages I kept telling him get a bike, no issues parking, take less time to get to work etc etc... The bastard took great pleasure in putting the briers block in on my arm with the biggest fuck right off needle possible, when it was being reconstructed after my spill... Twat.

[Way2go]

I dunno.... dilators in the Fridge, arms being set by the Gynae department ......people being bumped off with diamorphine........what are our hospitals coming to?

[Father Ted]

Nahhhh, didnt have arm set in Gynae theatres, just the bastard came up to Ortho theatre just for the occasion...

[docchevron132]

Just like ER when Carter took Bentons appendix out!

As much as I love the concept of the motorbike, i could never ride one, I'd be dead inside ten minutes.

If the gas man cant find a parking space why dont they just twat the patients over the head with a blunt heavy instrument?
Works for me!

[Fish_Botherer]

why dont they just twat the patients over the head with a blunt heavy instrument?

That's what the anaestheatist does already, by chemical means....

[Philhod]

Bikes are one of the most invigorating means of transport there is.

If you like speed just let an experienced rider take you for a spin on country roads and you'll be hooked forever.

[Father Ted]

Off up Rivvi barn next weekend all being well.

[Philhod]

Was up last w/end.

Flying off to Copenhagen in the morning. Next posts will be from Kalmar

[docchevron132]

I will never again get on a bike. Ever.

[Vanny]

Not even if she is called Dorean?

[docchevron132]

Nope!
Althoguh if shes called Laura Tobin, then I'll make an exception!

[mickey taker]

stop talking about bikes
ok in my case trikes = dream = cash outlay = d.i.v.o.r.c.e